Define me will you?!

Outsourced, funny show huh?

Here, as promised, is my latest status update on Facebook:

The day I even consider a Capital One card is the same day that I am invited to a public stoning of the prick who invented this auto dial system that waits for some poor sap to pick up after the umpteenth call to put them through to some jackass who can barely read the screen in front of him. I hope you get syphilis you f**khead!

Er, ah, ya... I guess I was a little pissy. I didn't know who it was that was calling from the 888 number when I was avoiding it over and over. It got to a point where it was almost acceptable for it to be ignored at my house. I'd say who is it? Susan would say it's "the" 888 number again and then it was just acceptable that it was ignored. Then I decided, all of a sudden, the other day that this was pretty stupid. I called them back and followed the prompt to be removed from their list. REMOVED FROM THEIR LIST. Perfect, no more calls right? Nope. I get a call a few minutes later from a nice gentleman who was either new to this country or calling me from an office in another. Following his questions on his automated script wasn't going very well for this man considering the answers I was giving. I when he was asking what my status was on needing a Capital One card at that time I informed him that I had made notes of the dates and times of the more than 30 calls I had received from that number and was in touch with a lawyer to find how close to harassment we were getting to in order for me to press criminal charges against their company although I was well aware my case would never get to court, I was still really looking forward to the process lasting a year or two and then settling for an amount that would pay for a nice house, a couple cars and a few project properties I've had my eye on. While he was trying to figure out if my answer was better suited for either the "looking" or "not right now" boxes on his screen I let him off of the hook saying that I wouldn't be adding this call to the 30 and I'd really like to not spend any more of my Monday afternoon in this titillating conversation. I tried not to laugh at him umm ing and ah ing and let him go. Done, no more. My sarcasm and idle threats would make this insanity stop. Nope. Not five minutes later I get yet ANOTHER call from a man named Mohamed... Yup, I could but, I'm not making this stuff up. Mohamed is a nice gentle sounding man who I'm sure has the title of "Captain Of Customer Keeping & Helping Everyone Accumulate Deals" or COCK HEAD for short, was, ahem, "vedy vedy" sorry for any inconvenience the calls may have caused me. It took me longer than it should have to help Mohamed understand that this call was very counter-productive as him calling me again was adding ANOTHER FREAKING call to the list. I was given more apologies than I could count and then when saying goodbye Mohamed, the slimy little prick, almost whispered "vedy" quickly and quietly that it may take up to 5 business days for my name to be successfully removed from their call list and then hung up. Fucker. That's all I have to say about that.... For now....
Anywho, on to the title of this post. I just wanted to clear something up. The name of the blog is My Kid Eats Boogers. I find most things I have to say lately in my life have something to do with my son. This blog will include everyday life stuff. It may not always have something to do with the boy but more than likely will. So if you're reading a post and thinking, "this is horse shit, it has nothing to do with kid or boogers" chill out. It's my party and I'll cry if I want to. That's all I have to say about that... Where is this Forest Gump shit coming from?
Stay classy Internet!