Homie don't play dat!
Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends, I'm so glad you could attend. Come inside, come inside! Ooh someone has been being a slacker! Actually there are a few things that have kept me away from posts. All are excuses that aren't nearly good enough on their own. For that matter, all together aren't really all that great either. I would have to say that the real reason lays with my constant procrastination which has plagued me for life.
I went to see a couple comedians on Saturday night. I made the mistake of looking them up on YouTube first to see if they were any good. The problem with that is when I actually saw them I had already seen most of the headliners act. Now before the show even started my girlfriend gave me the warning that I get before pretty much any outing. It comes in different forms but always has the same general message. "Don't embarrass me!" That night my warning came in the same way my warnings come when whenever I go to the movies. I get asked to not laugh (a) not louder than everyone else, (b) not to laugh at inappropriate jokes in said loud manner and finally (c) (my personal fav) not to laugh before everyone else gets the joke... Like it's my fault I get jokes a little bit quicker than the average person. Now, not to disappoint, on this particular evening I chose to violate all of said rules at once. The scene goes as follows; the headliner was a bit portly but informed us of the fact that he actually used to be much bigger. He set up his story by saying that he is well aware of the fact that when we laughed at this joke we would in fact be laughing at him and his misfortune and he was alright with this and actually encouraged us to laugh since that was what we were there for. After a long intro to the story he finally began... "Like I said, I was a large guy and at 320 pounds I found a beautiful girl and I went out on a date..." I thought since he'd already spent so much time stating the fact that he was so overweight etc. that this was the joke. I laughed. I laughed hard and loud. One of those short but hardy laughs that come from the depths of your belly. Apparently that wasn't the joke and everyone at the Yuk-Yuks show knew it but me. I just thought that the chances of a large man going on a date at all with an attractive woman was funny. And it was with the delivery in which it was given. He stopped and looked through the dark room in the direction the laugh had come from. He found me, pointed his middle finger at me and said "fucker"... Then he laughed and said that he actually did see the humour that I laughed at. No harm, no foul. Wrong. The damage was done. There was my lady beside me with her head pointed down and hand covering her red face. I'd done it again.... Damnit...
I used to think that maybe I was just one of those people that others find funny because of my quick wit. Not to blow my own horn here but being quick and on my toes when it comes to humour is something that I am pretty good at. I thought it was just a natural thing. After further thought I came to decide that I was only half right. Yes, the fact that I am quick witted and to add to that speed I have somehow managed to remove the filter that most people have between their brain and mouth that sorts out the things that should and shouldn't be said by creating a pause to think about it. My filter has either been removed or I have found a way of bypassing it. I think it's the second of the two because I seem to be able to filter some things and some words depending on the audience I happen to have like, for example, my grandmother. Now the second half has nothing to do with anything naturally occurring. When I was younger I watched A LOT of comedy. I watched An Evening At The Improve all the time. I watched it at night when most kids should be sleeping. (I've never been a morning person, I stay up late a lot) I have seen more comedians than I can count on that show and others. I watched everything comedy. All of the stand up stuff like Comedy at Club 54 or whatever it was called, Improve like I mentioned and Just For Laughs. I remember watching forbidden stuff like Eddie Murphy's Delirious, Raw, and Robin Williams Night at the Met. Every movie I watched when I was younger until now has been a comedy when it was my choice. I even watched sketch shows like Mad TV, In Living Color and of course SNL. I remember when I was a kid watching SNL while my parents played cards with my grandparents and getting pissed off when they asked me to change the channel to see the lottery numbers right at 11:30 and I'd miss the opening sketch.
So ya, I guess I am kinda funny. Go ahead and laugh. I've worked long and hard (that's what she said) to get this way! And hey if you don't laugh it's OK. It doesn't mean I'm not funny. It just means that didn't get my joke.
Stay classy Internet!
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