Nice Night, Eh?

The soon to be famous "Peterborough Bum Tree"

Mark my words... Look out Liftlock...

Well, no Facebook update tonight. Gettin right to tha dirdy! I've mentioned on Facebook many times that I've recently taken up walking as a stress reliever/exercise thingy. I don't do the "power walking" like the fifty somethings that we all see with their shirts from the Running Room, $300 shoes, stupid pink/purple visor, tight pants that shouldn't ever grace their legs (side note, if you look in the mirror, which you should, after putting stretch pants on and your legs and ass look like you put fifty pounds of potatoes in a pair of nylons take them off and put on some loose pants...please) and the token water bottle in one hand, and the other hand on their watch... Where was I?... Oh ya, who are these people kidding? They have to see other people doing it and think that those people look like morons. Anyways, I don't walk like that, I walk not to lose weight but more as a way of not gaining anymore as I ease into my thirties and it's a bonding time with my son or ironically when I don't have him with me it's more like a break from him. Any parent will tell you that each of those are just as important as the other. We see some strange and cool stuff on our walks. The crazy old woman who walks all over town that told me to, ahem, "suck her cock", for no apparent reason. We've found the Peterborough Bum Tree, as I have named it, that will become, I believe, the icon that finally replaces the Liftlock on postcards from Peterborough. I don't really know why people say they walk to clear their heads. When I walk alone I get those people talking, talking, talking in my head that, when I watched the latest Trailer Park Boys movie, I found out is called thinking. It's all I do. I've started taking a notebook with me because I come up with some amazing ideas. Not like when I used to smoke pot and I'd write down my amazing idea and the next day realize I had thought that pizza ice cream was a great idea.. The walk ideas are usually pretty good. They stand up to the test of time. Like in a few days I still like them. Usually it's songs or just lyrics, basically poetry but songs and lyrics don't make me sound like a fruit. Not that theirs anything wrong with fruits.. I love gays... Jesus... this isn't working out well... ANYWAYS.... For example, tonight I was walking along and I saw a few girls on George Street. They looked maybe 25 which in my experience means that they were 12. And I just started thinking about how terrible they looked dressed like whores, no offence to any whore who reads this, and I started thinking about lyrics (poetry) to describe them. None of which I am going to tell here because they haven't had a few days to not become bad ideas..But you get the point. Anyways, god I say that too much, I also like to experience different things, different trails when we walk and that sort of thing. I've always been an experience person. I think that's kinda the point of being here. To experience as much as we can. That thought process has worked in good and bad for me in my life. But I also like to do things that put myself and others out of the normal comfort zones. I think it's funny to see how people react. Tonight I saw a cute younger couple sitting on the shore of the lake. On one of those really long rocks that they make into steps when they landscape. They were clearly on a fairly early date, the first or second I'd say. I went over as I was walking by and instead of sitting on the other side of the 20 foot rock I sat down right beside the guy and said, "Nice night eh?" and I just looked at him stone cold faced. He looked at me in a perfect combo of "what the hell" and dirty stink eye that I have ever seen and so then I said, "just kidding, can you imagine?!" and I stood up. I turned around and started to walk away when I heard her laugh sooo loud behind me after he gave the expected "what the fuck?!" I looked back and they were both smiling and chuckling at me. I frigging LOVED it. It was sooo fun to put people on edge like that. I know... I'm weird... When I was walking away I thought to myself, I'm pretty lucky that guy didn't just punch me in the face. I think that if someone did that to me I might punch them in the face... I'm really glad that he didn't punch me in the face.
Anywho, switching it up a little, that's why I walk I guess. I don't know why I decided all of a sudden that I liked walking. Maybe it was because I saw that super expensive stroller gathering dust and a boy that needed to be outside after a long winter to blow the stink off of him and myself. I'm glad I did it though. If someone were to tell me 10 years ago that I would someday love walking I would have told them they were nuts. Back then I would drive to the end of the driveway to drop off the garbage. I would rather talk about oral sex technique with my grandmother than walk. That might be stretching it... Time to shut it down for another night.
Stay classy Internet!