Do as I say, not as I do...

Rumspringa baby!

The title of this blog is a bullshit line saying that my father used on me and I can see myself attempting to suck back into my mouth, like spaghetti, when I throw them to my son.  I think that this all comes down to the old feeling that every father/parent has that wants their child to have what they didn't and not have to learn life lessons by trial and error since we have already done this for them. There is a balance there that we all look for. We don't want to have those home-schooled kids that are socially retarded and think that not doing their dishes right after eating is living on the edge.  We all know that person in life. Although I have a son and not a daughter. This may make a difference. You may wish for your child to be like one of those "save it for marriage and only for procreation" types if you have a daughter and can't fathom the thought of some douche bag kid with a Mustang and a hard-on violating your daughter. I may be one of those too if I were to have a little girl... I hope my son does experience most of what life has to offer. I want him to get wasted on tequila so that he knows it's devil's urine and barfs so hard he farts. I don't however want him to experience what it's like to bang a hooker and feel burning when he pees. Again, it's a fine line. (side note, I don't know if that's what happens... James Bidgood told me. I know he won't read this... read being the operative word)
I think that there are some cardinal rules that are laid by our parents/guardians/pool boy/nanny that we follow, for the most part, and maybe we pass those along and drop the ones that aren't relative anymore. For example, my dad's dad may not have had to tell him to stay away from crystal meth tweekers. But my dad didn't have to tell me not to accept gum drops from men in black buggies. I have started to think about my list for my son now so that when it is time for me to pass them on I won't forget any of the important ones.... Like the tweeker thing. First and foremost, my father taught me to respect my mother. I couldn't agree with this more. Second and along the same lines is to respect and NEVER hit a woman. The hit part I have followed to a tee. However, the respect thing I may have misinterpreted a little during a couple of years when the wrong organ was getting the largest amount of blood flow...  There has been a few things that I have done that I am not proud of but nothing too too major.  I also want to install the sense of worth that comes with earning something. I want to provide for my child and give him everything that I ever wanted just as much as anyone else. I just think that earning it carries a lot more weight than most.  I wanted a dirt bike so bad when I was a kid. I'd dream about it constantly. My parents could have thrown out the cash to get one if they really wanted to but my father wouldn't have it. It pissed me off. But when I did buy that piece of crap bike I loved it more than anything in the world. A kid down the street had one given to him and he jumped it solo every chance he got. And I don't mean by HIMself, I mean by ITself. Lastly for now, one thing I really want my son to learn is that when someone hires you for a job you should earn that pay cheque. Too many, and I'm biting my preverbal tongue as I type this, young people now go to a job and don't work. They think that just being there is what they're paid for. That pisses me off to no end.  That's all of the old man thoughts I have for tonight... I guess I just want the boy to have a small amount of toxicity in his blood and some common sense. And perhaps a little old fashioned thoughts as well. And if I EVER catch that little sonofabitch smoking I'll put him in a closet with a carton and a zippo just like I wished my father had done to me. I would have killed to have my dad buy my cigarettes for me!
There it is, not my funniest entry I'll admit. But something important to me, nontheless.
Stay classy internet,
Jay